Munches & meet ups

I have never attended a munch/meet because I am such a private person I have always found the thought of that terrifying. When I first started this journey 12yrs ago I would find a Dom through the classifieds.. then on aol/yahoo we would correspond for a while, then talk on phone, then meet up for the session. I met a lot of interesting people that way. Until I met one that wasnt really a Dom, just a guy who tried to rape me. I managed to get out, unscathed, but the thought of what could have been, stopped me from having any more sessions with Doms. That was the time that I switched & instead of meeting Dom's I was the Domme meeting the sub, somehow that felt safer & kept me in the scene. However being Domme just wasnt for me.. I may have been good at it, because I am very assertive in my real life, but it wasnt what I wanted to be.

Now that I am seeking again though I am wondering if perhaps attending munches is the safer way to go.. The BDSM world has grown so much over recent years... what if I met someone who was really just a sadist & I couldnt 'get out' I am not as strong as I had been back then.. sure I can still look after myself, but mentally I am not as strong as I had been.

There is a swingers club close to where I live that has BDSM nights, I joined that a few years ago, but I have never attended any. The thought of bumping into someone I know puts me off. My family may know all about me & what I am, but I dont want joe public knowing too.

So I have a dilema...